How to Show Hospitality

Our previous post “Hospitality as a Ministry” explained the reasons behind ministering to people through food and service, aka “having people over”- this post will explain the ‘how to’ parts of it. Hospitality is becoming a lost art. Many people have only a vague idea about the importance of putting forks in the right spot and something about not slurping the soup. Don’t worry…this is not an etiquette lesson. If you would like to know the formal way to set tables and engrave invitations for your formal dinner, then there are many internet resources for that. I want to share some practical ways for you AND your company to have a good time in an informal setting.

Remember your purpose.

The goal of hospitality is to make the other person(s) feel comfortable and relaxed; especially if you are trying to form a relationship with them. This means that you may have to put your own preferences and favorite ways of doing things aside to minister to your guest. Your goal is not to impress them with your showroom house, gourmet cooking, perfect children, or pedigreed pets. Your goal is to show God’s love and fellowship in a tangible way.

2. Don’t try for perfection.

Too many people have this idea that their houses have to be perfect in order to entertain company. THIS IS NOT TRUE! Of course, you should do your best. Of course, you should clean the bathroom. Of course, you should clear the kids’ toys off the couch. But you must let go of the idea that your house has to look like something off of TV! Stop obsessing about, ‘But what will my guest think of me?’ Just remember, the people who matter won’t care, and the people who care don’t matter. Honestly, most people won’t notice that cobweb in the corner, or that you didn’t dust the fan. They won’t. Really.

3. Keep the food simple.

Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT try to fix a gourmet meal for your guests. You will be stressed out, your guests will feel bad that you made so much effort for them, and it might not even taste good! Go with something simple that you have made before (successfully) and that is inexpensive. The internet has plenty of recipes for casseroles, crock pot meals, and soups that can be made on a tight schedule for under $10. Remember, your goal is not to impress your guests, but to feed them.

Try to keep in mind your guests’ food preferences. Do they have any food allergies? Are they on a specific diet? Is there a dish they absolutely hate? Of course, you might not be able to accommodate everything, but your guests will appreciate the effort. Making a THM, Keto, or gluten-free meal is not as hard as it seems, especially considering how much more comfortable your company will feel. If children are involved, keep in mind that they may be picky. Having something like mac and cheese available will help ease tensions.

If you truly cannot cook (and by this, I mean that you burn water) and you are using this as an excuse not to show hospitality, I have a challenge for you. Watch some youtube videos, ask people you know who cook, buy a cookbook, take a class; and learn how to make at least one meal. In the meantime, order pizza!

4. Be flexible.

Nothing ever goes as expected…something is always going to “go wrong”. Be mentally prepared to change plans as needed. Oftentimes, hospitality is last minute and you can be prepared by simple forethought. Always have a frozen meal in the freezer, or Hamburger Helper in the pantry. Keep a container of lemonade mix and bottled water handy, and stock up on paper products. If your friends have kids, keep a playpen and a few age-appropriate toys/snacks around for last-minute visits. Provide play areas whenever possible. Have an alternate plan for pets such as a kennel or back room in case they have trouble with your visitors. But most importantly, don’t allow yourself to be anxious if everything isn’t perfect. Every change in plans is a chance to show graciousness: especially if your guests are unbelievers.

5. Be thoughtful.

What do your visitors really need? Think about their week, their schedules, their stress level. If you aren’t sure, have a couple plans ready: a board/card game, a movie for the kids, time outside, or coffee and dessert. Consider what they are accustomed to. If they are a fast food every night kind of family, try to stick to basic foods that they are familiar with. Schedule around nap times and bed times or provide somewhere for kids to lay down. Remove delicate items or place out of reach so that parents aren’t stressed about accidental breakage. Consider letting them keep on their shoes if they aren’t used to removing them. Is there a toy your child will not share? Place it in an inaccessible place to avoid conflict. Really think hard about what will help make the visit go as smoothly as possible.

6. Share the load.

If you have a busy schedule or a tight budget, don’t be embarrassed to ask your guests to bring something. They may actually appreciate the chance to contribute! Don’t forget: being invited over may be just a strange to them as inviting them is to you. Being able to help will help dispel feelings of awkwardness. So what should you ask them to bring? NOTHING VITAL TO THE MEETING- or you will be stressed out that they will forget. A dessert, bread, drinks, or a game all work well; and if it gets forgotten, everything is still fine. Once you are (both) comfortable with this “hospitality” thing, then try potluck or picnic style meals when it works well for both parties.

7. Do it again.

The temptation is to have one friend over, breathe a sigh of relief, and then isolate for 6 months. Don’t give in to that! Write a list of who you want to have over: friends, people from church, neighbors, family, co-workers. Start small: one person/family per month. Then as your confidence grows, add more as your schedule allows. Remember your goal is to create relationships that will bring you both closer to Christ; so view it as a ministry!

How to Create Sunday School Packets

During this time of quarantines and shutdowns, many of you are probably wondering how you can keep in touch with your Sunday School students. Don’t worry; you have options! We have many digital options: call/text your students, create a YouTube video, or use a live streaming service to teach your class. Still, nothing beats something physical to put in your students’ hands! Here are some ideas to create a fantastic and relevant goody bag for your class.

The following steps are intended to help you prepare for just one class. If you are preparing for multiple classes, just repeat the steps for each class. By using things around the church/house, you should be able to create packets for about $.50 each. Totally doable!

1.Decide your theme.

What is your lesson about? Choose a color or design that represents the point you are trying to get across and use it through out your packet. (Example: your lesson is about prayer. Incorporate clip art of praying hands throughout.) Or use something totally unrelated, but cute. (owls, race cars, etc.) This will help tie everything together. Be sure that you include some sort of printout that explains the passage that you are teaching in such a way that parents can easily read it to their children without having to study themselves.

2. Gather your items.

If you are doing this for a large group, organization is key. You will be surprised how much you already have laying around! The kids won’t know that the candy is leftover from the last bus promotions; you weren’t going to use those leftover popcorn bags from VBS anyways. Be creative! If expense is a concern, ask people to help you gather items. If one person gets crayons, one person grabs juice boxes, and another takes care of printing worksheets, no one person will be burdened with the expense.

Here are some ideas of what to include: snack, candy, crayons/pens, small toy, memory verse card, tract, bookmark, easy craft, hand sanitizer, worksheets, coloring pages, and personal notes.

3. Personalize.

This is where you can have some fun! The internet has all sorts of resources that you can take advantage of, or you can create your own. Your kindergarten class would love a simple coloring sheet- older children might enjoy a word search, crossword puzzle, or fill-in-the-blank. Teens can get involved too- try a Bible verse hunt or questions about a section of text. Have a little extra time? Throw in a small personal note: believe me, they will appreciate the thought! Any little thing you can do to make it unique for each child will make an impact. Do you know that one kid doesn’t like chocolate? Throw in a sour candy instead. Did that one parent ask you not to feed their child sugar? Add an apple instead of a snack cake. Think about what your students like- and what you would want YOUR kids to have.

4. Distribute.

Put all your items in some sort of bag and attach a label of some kind (or write on the bag). Then drive to your students’ houses and drop them off. Depending on your church’s policy, you can either visit with your student or just leave it on the doorstep for them to find. Make sure you leave a tract or something similar so that they will know who it is from.

There! You’re done! Wasn’t that fun? Plus, your students will never forget the effort you put forth to connect with them during this crazy time!

For help finding worksheets or coloring pages, go to the Contact page and send us an email. We would love to help you. Good luck!

Things I Wish I’d Known: How to Tithe

This blog begins a series of articles that I have entitled “Things I Wish I’d Known “. This will be a whole lot of random topics that I feel many women are not educated on today for a myriad of different reasons. Whether you want to blame the school system, toxic feminism, ignorance, or sheer laziness, children and teens are not being taught essential Christian life skills. Well, it’s never too late to catch up. I hope that you will find these articles prove useful to you, and motivate you to teach your own children.

Today’s topic: tithing.

We just had Missions Sunday at our church, and while the emphasis was on missions (obviously), the preacher also mentioned tithing. Did you know that less than 25% percent of Christians tithe? If even half of your church started tithing biblically, your church could double its impact! Wow! So let’s start today’s lesson.

Tithing is a Commandment

Tithing was practiced before the law by Abraham and Jacob, under the law by the Israelites, and after the law by Christians. The word tithe literally means the tenth part, reinforced by Jacob’s promise to give God the tenth part of everything he gained. A couple key chapters for tithing would be Genesis 14, Genesis 28, Leviticus 27, Malachi 3, I Corinthians 9, II Corinthians 8-9, and Hebrews 7. It is important to note that while Jesus never specifically commanded His disciples to tithe, He also never told them NOT to tithe. It is not unreasonable to assume that God, Who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, would expect tithe of His people today; nor is it unreasonable for Him to ask of us a mere 1/10 of our income.

2. Tithing is a Necessity.

Without the tithe of the people, the ministers cannot work as they should. This is covered in the the key chapters mentioned above. The work of the Lord must be financed by someone, and it is rational that that someone should be us. Sometimes church members take it for granted that the electricity is on and the rent is payed, that the bus has fuel and the pastor got his paycheck- but that money has to come from somewhere. God has a plan to take care of His church, and that plan is for Christians to tithe. Too many churches are going into debt and closing their doors because we are disobedient in the area of tithing!

3. Tithing is Not a License to Sin.

Jesus made it very clear to the Pharisees in Luke 11 that being super careful about tithe and neglecting the rest of God’s commandments is hypocritical. Obedience to one commandment will not cancel out disobedience to another. It may soothe your conscience, but that’s about all. I know of so-called Christians who will mail in their tithe every month, but will never darken the doorstep of the church themselves. God doesn’t take bribes, and will not be fooled by your replacing repentance with money.

4. Tithing is done by Choice.

Tithing is not to be mandated by the church, the state, or anyone else. This is made clear in II Corinthians 9:7. However, you should not have to be conjoled or forced into it, because it should be something you do freely and cheerfully. What an honor to be allowed to take part in the Lord’s work! But it is your choice. This is why most pastors don’t look at giving records, and why we don’t have accountability partners for giving. It is between you and God- but then again, who is a better accountability partner than Him?

Ok, now we have decided that we will tithe. How do we start? I’m glad you asked!

Get out your paystub.

Look at your paystub (physical or online version), and see the total amount you made this pay period. Write down that amount. For example, your number might be $1,230.57.

2. Get out your calculator.

Actually, you probably won’t even need the calculator for this one. Just move the decimal point to the left one space. Round to the nearest dollar. Using our example, your amount would be $123. If using the calculator, multiply the original number by .10. In either situation, the final answer is your tithe.

3. Get out your checkbook.

Now make out a check or go withdraw cash for the amount, and put it in the offering plate at church either every pay period or combine to tithe once a month. Simple, right?

Now for some frequently asked questions.

Q: If I tithe, how will I be able to make ends meet?

A: The Lord blesses those who obey Him. You may have to cut out unnecessary items from your spending (new clothes, expensive coffee, dinner out every night), but I never have met anyone who could honestly say that the Lord didn’t provide for them when they were faithful to Him and careful with their money.

Q: Should I tithe on my tax return?

A: If you tithe on your gross income (your income before taxes are taken out), then no. You already payed tithe on it. If you tithe on your net income (after taxes are taken out), then yes.

Q: Should I tithe on gifts?

A: You should tithe on gifts if they are in money form. For instance, I tithe on cash and gift cards, but I don’t try to figure out how much the bar of chocolate from Valentine’s cost and tithe on that. If you receive a very expensive gift and know its value, I would pray about it and maybe ask your pastor.

Q: Are tithing and giving the same thing?

A: No. Tithe is the mandated amount of 10% required of all Christians. Giving is an amount over the tithe that a Christian gives based on what God has given him/her in love and gratitude.

Hope this was helpful!

-Beth

Having Fun with Boring Stuff

One of the challenges of being an adult is learning to tolerate things you just don’t like. You know, when your husband drags you to a football game (yawn), or your child wants to play Mommy-is-a-Robot for two hours (scream), or maybe your best friend wants to watch the newest Hallmark movie…again (sigh). Now none of these things are wicked or harmful…but you just don’t like them. Now what?

You have three choices: refuse to do the thing, do the thing unwillingly, or do the thing with a joyful attitude.

Clearly, you (and everyone else) will enjoy the activity more if you are happy about it. You can infuse life and joy into a situation that otherwise you would have breathed discontent and unhappiness into. You might not think so, but you have the ability to bring down the spirits of everyone around you. Your attitude is a very powerful thing.

But how?

1. Don’t lie about your preference.

I truly hope you do not take this post to mean that you should fake liking something so that everyone else feels better, because this is not my intention. If you have a genuine issue with something (it’s sinful, harmful, bad example), state your argument and withdraw if necessary. Most of the time, though, that isn’t the reason. Usually, we get upset simply because we do not get our way. Having said that, it is not wrong to have preferences. If you don’t like spinach, it is OK to avoid the spinach casserole at the church potluck. If you don’t like bowling, it is OK to suggest another activity. But please don’t sit around complaining about it! If you are asked your preference, and are then overruled by the leader/majority- deal with it. This is not 1st grade where we throw tantrums because we didn’t get the purple glue in art class!

2. Think about why you dislike “it”.

So you were overruled, and you have to do “the thing”. Before we can proceed to learning to enjoy it, we must discover why you DON’T enjoy it. Judge yourself. Do you dislike ice-skating because you don’t want to embarrass yourself falling? (pride) Do you hate having company over because you are afraid they will find fault with you? (insecurity) Do you dislike football because your husband spends time watching it instead of being with you? (jealousy) There are a million possible scenarios here, but it all boils down to this: why is it a problem? You may find it as simple a reason as your childhood friends laughed at you while skating, or as complicated as reason as your dad watching football before he abused you- but whatever the reason, it must be addressed. Pray about it, and ask God to show you how to deal with it. If it is serious enough of an issue, seek counsel: but do NOT hide your problem under “I just don’t like doing that.”

3. Realize you probably won’t be the best.

So hopefully, by this point, you have figured out why you don’t like “it”, and dealt with the root issue. Now we are ready to try “it” with an open mind…but, wait.

I’m not as good at this as _____. You can fill in the blank. Example: My husband loves to go bowling, but I have a chronic wrist problem that makes it painful to bowl with my dominant hand. Once I have conquered the fear of pain/embarrassment, I go bowling and quickly realize… that I am horrible. Forced to bowl left-handed, I always score the lowest (even with the rails up;). What now? I can make all sorts of excuses, play the pity-me card, refuse to bowl, and make my husband feel guilty for bringing me in the first place- or I can choose to be happy with my score. I can choose to accept the fact that I will never be as good as he is (he was in a bowling league in high school), and just enjoy the game and the company. I can choose to laugh at every gutter ball I throw, and I can act like I won the Olympics when I hit a pin. So can you. You can choose to be happy with your best. Comparing yourself to the best player/best cook/best singer will not help anyone, least of all yourself. Take joy from your small victories, not unhappiness from your small failures.

4. Have fun.

At this point, you are in a good mood. You might not be particularly interested in what is going on, but you are happy to be involved. Now let’s take it to the next level. Don’t just tolerate, enjoy! Laugh at the corny jokes, and tell some of your own. Build a house of blocks, and knock it down yourself. Play Monopoly and make up some special family rules that involve tickling and ice cream. Cherish the time you have with your friends and family. Your involvement in their favorite thing may mean the world to them. Make the impression even better by making joy-filled, loving memories. You may even find that you start to like “it”! Could it really hurt that much to try?

Good luck!

-Beth